Just about everyone moves at least once in a lifetime, and many of us move multiple times. While a move and typically accompanying job change in themselves can be stressful, they can be nothing compared to the loneliness experienced by many when moving to an entirely new area. Hiring the best movers in NYC helps, but transitioning away from family and friends is never easy, and coping with the reality of missing loved ones while moving forward in a new place can be helped in a few ways.
- Accept the fact that your former relationships will likely change.
Even if you have been very close, distance creates certain barriers. Facetime, Google hangout and other technology advances allow for increasing face-to-face contact, but they don’t replace the everyday closeness of living in the same city. Visits between friends and family that live at a distance become less frequent and realizing that relational changes will happen allows everyone to move forward with clearer expectations.
- Touch base with someone from your former city by phone at least once a week.
Even though relationships will change, contact doesn’t need to cease. You will feel much less lonely in a new state when you make a phone call to catch up with someone who already knows and cares about you. Just an hour once a week can do wonders in combating the loneliness you may be feeling.
- Try to be a “regular” somewhere.
Chances are, there are some pretty great places near your home or workplace that you will tend to frequent. It could be a coffee shop that makes the perfect latte, a pizza place that you stop by on Tuesday night or a bar that you visit to relax after a long day’s work. Try to be there at the same time or place daily or weekly. Pretty soon, you’ll learn the employees’ names, and they’ll learn yours. You may meet some other regulars that appreciate the same things about the establishment, too. In fact, you may choose to frequent a beach, park, or bench instead. You may be surprised at how at home you feel after just a few visits and what social connections may grow.
- Connect over common interests.
You might connect well with others in your neighborhood or building over pets, kids or a sports team. Don’t be afraid to strike up friendly conversations over obvious similarities because some of the best friendships grow this way. Another way to connect over common interests is to plan or attend a “meetup” of some kind. A local, informal gathering of a community of people, a meet-up can be as simple as a neighborhood event where people mingle over cocktails to a gathering centered around hobbies, careers or business networking.
- Be more interested in other people than in sharing your story.
Be interested in learning and in other people, and you’ll be an interested contributor to a club, church group, book study or any other number of activities. Ask people questions instead of talking about yourself. Think about how to engage people in “How?” “Why?” and “What?” questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Without being creepy, be interested in what’s going on in their lives, how they got to a certain place or what made them think the way they do. While you will get some questions about yourself, be careful not to take over a conversation. Instead, turn it back to the other person. The more they talk, the more they will appreciate the conversation and what a good listener you are.
- Enjoy your time alone when going out.
Attending a meal, lecture or concert alone may seem strange, but it’s perfect for an introvert. Without having to necessarily speak to lots of people, you’re going out in public and enjoying some of what life has to offer. Simply giving directions to someone and looking them in the eye can be a positive interaction and a step outside your comfort zone.
- Exercise at the same time each day.
Whether it’s an early morning run, a visit to the gym at lunchtime or walking the dog when you get home, try to work out at the same time each day. You’ll start to see the same faces and start feeling more at home in your new city.
A new city and a new way of life can seem daunting in the beginning, but with the right perspective and a little effort on your part, it can soon feel like home.